First off, thank you for all the emails of concern of what is going on with me. I was very touched to say the least. Especially since no one around here (besides David and Emmie of course) have a clue. I have become a very private person over the last 4-5 years.
The last 9-10 days I have been researching other possible countries that we could adopt from while waiting for our China adoption to become a reality. I am emotionally exhausted. Why is something so beautiful so hard to obtain? Why is it so difficult to help an orphan child have a home and forever family? The countries I have looked at all have different requirements as well as the agencies. Some of the issues are as follows: I can't have two adoptions going at once. I would have to withdraw from my agency to start all over with another country. NOT HAPPENING! There are age requirements.....David is too old. (sorry honey) Travel time in a few South America countries I would consider are a 4-6 week travel stay. I can't do that to my children. Now....on a good note....I have found 2 agencies besides my own that WILL let me look over their waiting child lists and another agency I have to contact the waiting child's agency if I am interested. Now....whether I can actually get matched is another story. I was really hoping for Hong Kong.....but from what I now understand...the SN from there are just too much for our family. If Guatemala would re-open......I would be sooooo happy. There is a possibility for India. What an incredible journey that would be. I also thought about Ethiopia, but they are usually in sibiling groups and I have found that most agencies do not want to split them. Then I am also trying to research Kyrgyzstan Adoption. And no....I don't even have any idea how to pronounce that! lol Do you??? I think what really gets me is I am willing to adopt a SN needs child from China.....a country that I have adopted from once already.....but I can't pull my dossier even for a SN child because David and I would not make it under "New Rules". ~sigh~ I have had a lot of trouble swallowing that one! Now......for those I you that already have thought way ahead while reading this......I understand that I could be doing all of this for nothing. This could also be God's voice telling me to be patient and trust in Him. Go ahead...look....see......think and pray but the out come will remain the same. There are no easy answers, this is a painful journey for some that wait and perhaps the gift I was given two years ago is my answer. Perhaps this is a journey of faith for me......I wish I knew.....If the Lord would just give me a Thumbs Up or Down right about now....it would be really helpful! lol Also on a different note.....our agency is finally getting it together and will begin to view this "shared list" in the "middle of the night" that happens. From what I am understanding from others, is that the agency you are with can put a 48 hour hold on any children they think they can match and contact their families. If the family does not respond or wish to adopt this child, the child will go back into they system. It has not been implemented yet and I don't know if it will match more families from my agency that are ahead of me "faster" or not. And how they will know what families to match with, I have no idea yet either. Again......needing to put my faith in the Lord......so for now....I will continue to look over these waiting children lists that I have been excepted to view. And if anything comes from it.....I will be sure to celebrate it with all of you.....and if it doesn't, I will continue to celebrate with all of you who are gradually bringing your children home. So for now......yes we are searching, and it is emotionally draining for me.......my goal is to not let it consume me! If there are any of you out there doing the same as me....would you let me know? It would be nice to have someone to talk to about this part of our journey as well. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. ;)
46 comments:
You are an amazing women! I hope your adoption dreams come true very soon. You deserve it!
Girl, once again we are on the same page. I still feel God leading us to Asia but I also have been searching other options. Like you, there aren't many doors opening due to circumstances. Keep praying - God will show you & myself exactly what His PERFECT plan is for our families. By the way, when our SW was here for our update we talked about the new system. It's interesting to say the least.
Keep me posted if anything changes. Right now I'm just trying to wait. My daughter(s) is out there somewhere.
I'll keep praying for you. Don't give up.
Charity
www.amorrisfamily.blogspot.com
Oh Steffie - I remember all too well the desperation I felt last summer when we had been denied requests off from 4 different COP lists. I made it my obsession to find our Josie. I was scared to death to pull our original paperwork and resubmit with a new agency. I'm praying for you during this time of searching.
hugs,
Kim K.
I too wish I could go to another country.. but I think God my family on the right path right now.. We are patiently waiting for Isabella.. and then once she is here, maybe we will begin our search for another country..
I love how you are sooo honest and I am always here for you girly..
You are an amazing woman. .and I am sooo glad to have met you..
HUGS to you..
Have a Great Weekend..
I knew you were busy at something. I felt it. I have done what you are doing with Jacob's adoption and Caitlyn's. Search search search... I think even if it takes you nowhere it does something to your heart so it isn't in vain.
I would LOVE to see Guatemala open again. So close and dear to my heart....
I hope you have a special weekend.
Love
Connie
You should check out this blog http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/
they just got home from ethiopia with their son while still waiting for their daughter from China. I don't know Christie, but I don't think she would mind talking to you about their experience.
Dear Steffie, I hear your longing heart in your latest blogs and I know God promises that we will find Him when we search with all our hearts. I will pray for you as you search, that He will guide your steps. So wonderful to see you longing to help orphans and considering every door. I know that God is pleased with your faithfulness and your desire to follow Him, so rest in Him as you wait for answers. I learned a lot in this blog entry and must thank you for all your research! My boys' third grade teacher whom I admire so much as a wonderful follower of Christ.....adopted 2 girls from India. The were about 1st grade age wise. If you wanted to talk with her, just let me know and I will help connect you guys. Praying for you and all of our group and their pending adoptions. Kristi
Steffie, I have been searching since Jan. and can relate to a lot of what you speak of. Also don't know why it's so difficult to adopt internationally and there are so many restrictions. I have a friend who adopted from India (little boy) and the Marshall Islands (little girl), I believe the Marshall Islands has a very long stay like 4-6 weeks, so that probably isn't an option. What about Ethiopia? I know of another family with a LID for China and did a concurrent adoption. I'd be happy to help you in anyway. Also would be happy to help if you have questions about any specific SNs. Take care friend. :)
I've yet to understand why there is such along wait for the second child.One would think if you did it right the first time you would be good to go a second time.
Maybe you just need to tell them if they do not get the ball rolling Mr.Brian will be calling.(Yeah like that would help).
Amazing as it is I just wrote an interesting post then came and read yours.Hmmmmm kinda strange how they have something in common.
Go check it out.
May you feel Gods peace as you make decisions that are important ones.
Hugs and smooches.(yeah both today)LOLOl
Mr.Brian a.k.a. Butcher
Hi Steffie,
I've always had it in my heart that I would adopt from China. I've been waiting and waiting, but I'm not yet old enough. I've even studied Chinese! With all the changes, I'm afraid that by the time I am old enough, 1) I won't qualify under changing rules and 2) that the adoptions will be closed by that time anyway.
I've looked at other countries and India is one I considered. Unfortunately, I get the impression that they mostly favor families of Indian heritage. Another country you might look into is Poland. They have a small program, but it might be growing. I'm hoping that is one I can look to when I am "old" enough :-)
I'm sorry you're going through this. It is a tough time for a lot of "waiting" families.
Best wishes,
Christina
We're going to find the way to our girls together. We're strong enough.
I know this is hard...but God will show His perfect path. Easy for me to say though and hard for me to believe;) I will continue to pray that He makes His will crystal clear for all of us along this similar journey.
I am surprised that you can't do an interim adoption or look at SN will still sticking with your current position in China. Our agency has said we could do both...but I guess all the agencies must have different rules.
In the meantime hold on tight to that dream that God has placed in your heart...
Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patienly endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.
2 Corinthians 1:6-7
Steffie,
Not having the same agency as you, I can't quite figure out why you'd have to "pull" your dossier from the NSN line to move it to the SN line -- I understood that if your dossier went to China before May 1, 2007,you'd be grandfathered in...
What about the Philippines? I briefly looked into their program...
Just remember to ASK for Wisdom from God at every step of this journey, and be still and LISTEN for His voice!
I just happened across your blog and wanted to comment real quick. We found our daughter on our agency's WC list and she's been home since Sept '07; and I have a friend who is logged into China, but is also waiting to adopt from Taiwan! She is using Journey's of the Heart, I believe...good luck!
Steffie,
Did I tell you that I love your new siggy?! Well, I do. Love that Verna! Love that siggy! So you!
Hang in there girlfriend. You will get through this. I have most of the same issues as you do as far as SN. Well actually our agency doesn't have SN and if so, we don't qualify.
whats suppose to happen, will. I know that is easier said than done. Thinking of you lots and lots and lots.
Lea
xo
I wish I had answers for you. I hope you are able to find your way. Hugs...
I came to look for a new "Steffie post" daily....and you weren't here...so, I had a feeling you were soul searching..and heart searching..and doing it all "on your knees" before the Father!
Lots of "stuff" to muddle through...I can only imagine...I know you are a lot like me...that we want it done "yesterday"...."make it happen" kind of gals!!! That is where this gets frustrating I am sure.
I will stand in the gap for you my sweet friend...praying daily for the Lord to move in the way He has planned for your sweet sweet family!
Thinking of you....and lifting you in prayer lots and lots!
Love you so!
Denise
I am with Mr. Brian. Why is it so difficult to adopt internationally. I have been doing lots of research and it is so overwhelming. We do not qualify for China under the new rules. But if it is meant to be it will. I trust the lord will open the paths that you are meant to travel...
Hugs!
Hey, Steffie! I've been reading your blog ever since we met at Gwen's in Nashville. I know exactly how you're feeling. We are going through the same thing. I don't know what to do either--except to pray! I'll be praying with you!
What about Homeland Adoption Services? They have a new program called Xingfu (happiness), that is where we found our Kevin. They have been WONDERFUL...they have been very open and honest with information.
shelley
www.finishingourfamilyfromchina.blogspot.com
Hi Steffie. I feel your pain. We are really struggling with which path to take. I think the worst thing about the wait isn't how long it is, it's the fact that it keeps moving out. First it was 12 months, then 18 now 29.... I get frustrated thinking, "Oh, we're half way there, but then now maybe only a third of the way." Sigh.
We have three boys and have ALWAYS wanted a baby girl, so we thought adopting from China was God's will for our family, but honestly now I am not so sure. We're even considering dropping out completely and getting pregnant. Crazy, right?!
I'm with you, if God would just print a billboard or send me something obvious I would really appreciate it! Meantime, I'm praying for an open heart and an open mind and the strength to follow whichever path He chooses.
Hang in there! Hugs from Texas!
Adrienne, LID 4-20-07
What gets me as one person adopts from the waiting list BEFORE they are LID and another agency says you have to be out of review before you can. I wish the rules FOR ALL were the same. I am praying that you will find your daughter soon:-)
Your family has a lot of love to give.
Even though I am not in your shoes, I can totally see where you are coming from. I hope you find answers soon.
Hugs....
{{HUGS}} I know you will find your way.... we too continue to look at waiting child lists and other countries (in case VN falls through) and yeah, it is sooo hard. So many restrictions and all we want is a child to love....
I would tell you to try Uganda, but we had to stay five weeks, and to be honest, I don't think you'd be there for less than that. So....I will just say that I am thinking of you and praying for you while you make this decision.
something "pulled" me to your blog tonight and now I know why.
I could drum up some advice for you, but I don't want to. I just want to give you a glass of wine, a hug, and a shoulder.
Here for you, girlie.
something "pulled" me to your blog tonight and now I know why.
I could drum up some advice for you, but I don't want to. I just want to give you a glass of wine, a hug, and a shoulder.
Here for you, girlie.
Sweet Steffie, it will be alright girl. You know that well. I am glad you are looking at SN. My two beautiful children were SN and are perfectly fine. I have heard from many that the shared lists, though you have to make a quick decision, actually matches people faster. So it is a good idea. Also, Ethiopia does not match you with sibling groups if you don't request it. Check out the many blogging mommies of Ethiopian children which are also in line for China but home with their Ethiopian child.
Finally, trust, just trust.
Stef, I was just where you are at about one year ago and just when I thought I would lose my mind, the Lord sent us our sweet and spicy (yes Hubei kids are spicy too) Noah. So, this growth that you are feeling is painful but necessary. When the right thing happens, you will appreciate it and celebrate with all your heart. Blessings my friend. -v
Steffie,
You are so not alone, I, along with several thousand other women are with you and waiting. Keep your spirits high, trust in the Lord and keep the faith. Your dreams will be answered.
Many hugs friend. Many hugs!
Oh Steffie...my heart totally goes out to you during this time. We switch from the traditional program to WC back in Oct of last year and it was the best decision for us as a family (we were going to wait for daughter #3 for the WC, but Keith said he is too old to adopt again, and we are so blessed with Francesca...why not give something back...I hope I am making sense). Anyway, if you ever want to talk, just drop me a line.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers...
I understand completely as we too are waiting (LID 3/6/07). This is our first child and some days the pain of waiting is unbearable. You are full of faith - something that I am slowly beginning to realize myself. Enjoy those three children in your home knowing that more will enter when the time is right.
"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."
Frank Lloyd Wright
Have you looked into Taiwan? We were on the waiting list in Taiwan when we found our second child from China on a special needs list at a small Hawaiin Agency. Some of the people in my Taiwan program have been there once to bring their baby home and have now even been matched with a second child; and that was about 20 months ago. The agency was Commonwealth, program B.
Continued best wishes on this journey to your next child.
Check your email. I just sent a message, but forgot to put a subject to it.
It was good to hear from you.
-Charity
Steffie, I don't really know what to day. I know it is so emotionally draining. I pray that God will give you His peace. He will show you what His plans are for you and your family. Love ya.
It does seem like an exhausting experience & wait doesn't it. And the rules, why oh why does it have to be so hard to love a child?? But...your time WILL come again, trust that God has it all figured out : )
Steffie- Our agency has a WC list for their clients and the shared list. We are logged in and hope to put in for a SN once our lives settle down (taking care of my mom right now is hard). I know that with our agency we let our SW know what SN's we are willing to accept and they search the shared list. Once they find a match they can put a hold on the child.
I will keep you in my prayers. If you ever need to talk you know where I am : ) I am always here for you. {{{hug}}} Keep the faith!
When we started down the adoption path we had our name in with a domestic attorney and we had submitted our dosier to another country. The other country closed its doors and all the doors opened up for us to adopt our daughter here in the U.S. I really feel that God will open those same doors for you the second time. When the time is right and the place is right, you will know it deep down that YES, this is it!
Hi Steffie-
Old Secret Pal here, I don't know if it's your agency's rule regarding the SN list but CCAA allows you to "switch" to SN under the old rules. My husband and I would not have qualified if we were not logged in already 2/1/07, originally NSN. We are currently on the SN list with CCAI (Chinese Children International). You have my e-mail address it you have any questions.
Hope all works out. Keep looking to the sky:)
Adele
LID 2/1/07
MCC (Medical Conditions Checklist) submitted 10/19/07 with CCAI
Big Hug......... God is on the throne and He will lead you to your child. I do think that yes, your child is in China... you have come so far...
But who is to say that you do not have another child somewhere in the world that is already to come home to their family.
God's Speed my friend....
I hope you find your way with this. I completely understand about being "consumed" about it. I'm still trying to move on from adoption all together. It isn't working....
You know Steffie....you will know when it is right. We had just received our LID for China with CHI and found Emma Jane on a waiting list with Wide Horizons for Children. I love, love, love Maryanne Ludwig there...she is extremely knowledgeable. Anyway, Emma was in South Korea. We amended the homestudy, had the I-171 changed, which China actually sent straight to South Korea (a God thing) and Emma Jane was home in 9 weeks from the day we found her. I have already been praying for you and it is so exhausting.
God will show you.....He is faithful...He is good.
This is not the journey I was expecting to be on either. I can't believe what the wait has become. I certainly don't have the answers but God does. I just wish He would hurry up!!!!!!!
i will pray God leads you ... i will email some information to you about some of your research ideas ... i love ya girl and i know your heart for orphans is so pure ... God will answer ... love ya ...
just wanted to send some {{{HUGS}}} your way. we are going through a search too...
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