I can't even begin to tell you how much having this daughter of mine has meant to me. When I was told we were at about a 30% chance of having a baby, I prayed so hard to please, please bless me and allow me to be a Mother and to have a baby. "AND"........ A girl would be nice..... and if she could have blonde hair, blue eyes, be smart and healthy....well I would just be the happiest ever. I don't know why I was blessed with her and all my selfish requests, but I told myself that I would do my best to lead her to our Lord and that I would guide her to the best of my ability to become a strong follower of Jesus Christ. I think it is safe for me to say that I actually felt like I was making a deal with the Lord. I've tried very hard to keep up with my end of the bargain and I think for the most part I have done a fairly good job. However, lately I feel like I am losing her. We fight and argue and she down right ticks me off with her selfish behavior and demands right now. We still have our days when we do have deep emotional and spiritual conversations, and I am so grateful when those times happen. I know much of it is her age and all the pressure she faces on a daily basis when she walks through those school doors. I just pray she continues to have the courage and strength to stand her ground and to remember her beliefs and her love for the Lord. I love her more than she probably realizes at this point and my heart breaks when I feel like we are drifting apart. She was my first dream come true and I love her more than anything. She has made me so proud to be her Mother and I can only hope and pray that she feels the same. I love you baby girl.....we'll get through these times and just remember that no matter what.....you will always be"MY" Lulu!
44 comments:
WONDERFUL POST...
I know that it is so hard for the kids these days..
There is so much peer preasure out there..and it seems like we can do our best to teach and understand our children , but they have to learn some things on there own..
I just had an situation with my oldest that was not a great experiance...
I hope that he learns from it and then goes on with his life..
You are a GREAT mom and she will do wonderful things with her life..
I am here if you need someone to listen..
I know how teenagers can be... Having a 17,15, and 14 life is never boring...
HUGS TO YOU MY FRIEND...
We will make it through.. our kids are very smart....
NEVER forget you are a GREAT MOM...
This too shall pass. Take it from someone who has raised one to adulthood and lived to tell about it. They stumble and fall but if raised as well as you are raising your sweet daughter will rise up and find her way again.
It will all be just fine as your daughter loves you and god very much. It is evident.
I have a twenty four year old daughter who is a most priceless gift to me from God. I love her like I love breathing. We had this same dynamic when she was about 17. You are right, it passes. Keep reminding her you love her like no other. she needs to hear your voice over and over in a world that undoes our children if it can. She will recall the love you had for her all of her life, and she will be and is blessed because you are hers too. Blessings to you both as you navigate the uncharted waters of her becoming a woman and still always your girl. There is depth you will have with her that many adult daughters can only dream of with their mothers. May God richly reward you!
Oh honey, she's just growing up. She will pass in and out of the open door to your heart throughout the rest of her life. It's ok. The love isn't changing at all. She's just testing the waters of independence. You are her stronghold and always will be. You have raised to be a strong Christian girl. Trust that.
Oh my gosh ~ I think my mom wrote this to me years ago. She too was told she would never have kids and then here I came..her first born and proceeded to make her miserable when I turned 14. Seriously, we fought constantly. It took me a long time to realize she was usually right : )
You are a great Mama and she is a great Daughter....all will be well. Of course, I will come to you for advice about my strong willed girl in about 10 years!!!
Oh, and if you come to see Gwen..you know I will have to crash your party for a few hours!!
this is really beautiful
Oh my, I could have written this about my 14 year old Paige! We're a lot alike, is some of the reason we battle! We have a very special relationship though. Her friends are always amazed that she shares her 'boy crushes' with me, etc. Just the other day I was giving her friend a ride home from dance team practice, and we were chatting and she said "wow, it's cool you and your mom can talk about stuff. I can't talk to my Mom at all." It made me sad for her. It made me smile though, and made up for the last battle we'd had! ;)
Let's hang in there together!
I understand how you feel! My daughter and I were always so close, but there was a period of a year or two that things were rough. I want to say she was around 14. It seemed like everything I said or did bugged her so much and it really hurt my feelings. She will be 18 next month and all is well again! We are so close once again, so I guess it is a normal stage, but hard for Moms to go through!
My Mom and I went through this. We are so very close now. I talked to her 4 times today and she is 4 states away (South for the winter).
Your daughter is at such a rough age. Keep trying all the time and always keep open communication. It will pass Steffie.
She is so blessed to have you for a mom. Its a hard stage in life when you begin to spread your wings and try to become her own person. She still needs her Mom though. I would give anything to have a good relationship with my Mom. Just love on her and let her know that you are always there no matter what mood she is in. She will appreciate
the relationship you share. It may take a little while, but she will come around. Hang in there Momma. :)
The reason why I even started my blog was because of rough times with my precious Joey.
I have been there and felt that I was loosing him too.
It can be rough but never doubt the love she has for you.
I doubted that I was handling things right at the time. It took a lot of patience and understanding on my part. I always stood my ground. I tried to be his friend but never forgeting I was his MOM first.
He is 15 now and things are much better.
BTDT.... BELEIVE me this too shall pass!
My gosh, that is a beautiful post.
Lea
Sounds like me when I was that age. She will find herself and realize that her Momma is #1 in her life. You are doing a fabulous job of raising not only her but all of your children. Keep it up Stef! :)
oh I am just so proud of you on these pages!!!! These are so good.
Dealing with a teen right now as well, I can totally relate and could have written the entire post myself. Hugs to you.... I have a feeling you two will be absolute best friends when she is older. Its just these little in between time as they mature. You are doing all the right things. Your prayers are heard and I know He is answering.
I'm glad to read the reassuring comments from moms who have been thru what you are going thru with Em. (and I remember going thru this with my mom...and look at us now!)
God's Word says if we raise our children right, when they are old they will not depart from it. Rely on that. You know by now that you can trust Him in everything...especially when it comes to your children - they are all such HUGE miracles straight from Him.
Love you, girl.
P.S. Emmie is an AMAZING young lady. I love her spirit and her heart. I'd say she'll be just fine, but she will be SO much more than that!
XO
Hang in there and hold tight.
She is testing the waters, when they get a little rought you'll be the first one she runs to.
Knowing your always there and how much you love her is allowing her the courage to branch out a little.
You are a great Mom and you have done an excellent job, you don't have anything to fear.
Oh..I remember going thru the same thing with my Mom. And now we get along great! I've obviously never raised a teenager but I do know you're an amazing Mom to all your children. You're right in that there are so many pressures at school, etc. Hang in there and know this too shall pass. Emmie is an amazing girl and I have no doubts you two will get thru this!
What a beautiful family you have!
And a very stylish blog design too ;)
You know, I was closer to my mom than any two people have ever been, and yet I turned on her when I was about 13-15, and then again in my early '20s. She never complained. Her take on it was, "Don't worry, just bide your time. They always come back."
In my adulthood, we are as close and crazy about eachother as we were when I was little. I am so lucky to have my mother, and I'm grateful for her every day.
What a beautiful and heartfelt post. It is so hard to see your kids grow up, isn't it? Even though my girls are still litte, I saw this very thing happen to Matt and Cera when she was about Emmie's age. Now, they are closer than ever....
Hugs to you, my friend.
I feel your heartache and am so sorry. I have to be honest, I am not looking forward to this day happening to me... I know I did it to my Mom too.... perhaps it is because we know that no matter what we say or do are Moms will always love us.... will always be there when we run into their arms...
I will pray for you and your beautiful, sweet Emmie.
This too shall pass.
Me again.....
Jesus promices us that if we raise them up knowing Him that even if they venture off He will bring them home.
Even if Emmie tried (I don't think she will) to leave Jesus... He will NEVER leave her... He is with her each step of this journey through the teenage years.
Big Hug
My mom and I are the BEST of friends and have always been so close. I remember very well a couple of teenage years that were so hard on our relationship. Those times sure didn't last. We talk about it now and are both so glad the strong foundation was there to get us through.
You have a strong foundation and relationship with your daughter. That won't change!
Now will your remind me of this about 10 years from now when Lily is a teenager. LOL
Love your blog designs!!!!
Never give up!
It is so difficult to be Emmie's age, but she seems to have such a strong foundation. The fact that you're aware of the struggles means that you will get through this and be better in the end. You will be in my thoughts and prayers ...
I remember butting heads with my mom when I was Emmie's age. I think it's part of the process of growing up and spreading your wings. This will pass in a little while, things will get better and Emmie will realize what a wonderful mother she has.
Great post. There are days that I wonder what I'm really in for with our Emma. I don't ever remember slamming a door at 9 1/2 years old, but it's already happened twice this year!! I do think peer pressure is starting earlier and earlier and it scares me. I'm looking forward to reading your continued trials and joyous times with Emmie.
Hugs,
Kim K.
Oh my dear Steffie,
Be assured this is a teen age thing.
I bet if she sits and reads this post she will come to you with tear filled eyes telling you how much she loves you.And you know she does.
Try to remember what you were like at that age.I know I knew everything (or at least thought I did).
Extra hugs sent your way tonight,
and smooches too!!!
Mr.Brian
I had a nice long comment for you, but my firefox quit unexpectedly and I lost it.
I cannot duplicate my profundity (alas!), but suffice it to say that my comment was not only profound and witty, it was touching as well (heh.).
Stef, this is normal. No fun, maybe, but normal. I'll be praying for you and your precious girl.
This is such a beautiful post Stef. Your Emmie is so beautiful and this too will pass. You have given her a strong foundation on which to grow. She will do just that....continue to grow in God and in who HE has planned for her to be. When the days are difficult...just pray her through....and rest in HIM! That is what I do!
You are an amazing mom in so many ways. Your children are so very blessed to have you!
Sending you ((hugs)) my friend!
The only advice I can give you was that I was a teenage girl once. I loved my mom like no other, but treated her the worse out of everyone. I guess I felt like with all of the stresses of school, sports, popularity, etc., she was my one safe place that I could vent and know she would be there for me, We had some wicked fights, that I regret as an adult, but they passed, just as this will. My mom and I weathered the storm and have a wonderful relationship as adults. You are such a wonderful mother, hang it there. Im sure I'll be e-mailing you in about 10 years with advice for my teenagers (they are now 4 & 6)!
The teenage years are only fun for the teenagers.
This will be behind you very soon.
P.S. She is so beautiful
What a great post! I remember that when my mom and I would get into a huge fight (not often) she would write me a note when she calmed down. I was usually still angry and being a typical teenager when she gave it to me but later I would treasure these little love notes. I still have them and refer back to them whenever I need a pick me up.
A beautiful and very real post. I've BTDT once with a son and this will pass. I remember very well what it was like sometimes for myself as a teenager, and it is such a difficult and trying time of their lives. You are doing ALL the right things. :)
I totally stole your signature thing...I love it! I hope you don't mind!!!!
I understand where you are coming from, with a 16 year old here too!! I do keep the promis of God that if you raise them right they will not depart from the truth!!
God bless your relationship!
Debbie
There is a nasty storm coming in tonight...stay warm and safe! xoxo
She will come around, the most important thing is that you keep communication flowing. You are an excellent Mom and you have done an incredible job. Children listen, even when we think they have stopped listening.
This is very touching. I'm sorry you are hurting. I have experienced many of the same feelings with our oldest daughter, who is now in college. They have to grow up and become their own person. I understand what an emotional time it can be. It sounds like you are doing all the right things! You've built her a great foundation. She just has to spread her wings a bit. Y'all are in my prayers.
I have been through this wonderful phase of life 4 times now. Each one of my boys has gone through it and has come out of it. They eventually come around. Keep the lines of communication open even if she pretends not to listen, she is. Your daughter is so beautiful!!!! Keep the faith my friend. : ) If you ever want to talk you know where to find me.
Ahhh, the teenage years. Yes, I remember them all too well. They were hell! Be strong, this too shall pass.
Hope you are feeling better today..
My thought and prayers are with you my friend..
Hugs to you...
Your a Great MOMMY..
Don't worry mom, you will be brilliant when she is mid to late 20s and you will be greatly appreciated when she is a mom herself. I am not looking forward to those years with Glenys either.
Beverly
I can so relate to what you are going through right now. Both my girls are getting harder to live with...all hormonal and the teen years can be so "all about them" but we have raised them with a good foundation and they will come through still loving us in the end. We are in a parenting of teens class at church and we just did a study on the "5 Love Languages of Teens"...very good study for parents! Emmie is a beautiful girl inside and out and God has amazing plans for her life...stay strong and you will be in my prayers. (I can only be so confident because I went through a rough patch a few weeks ago and we are doing great now, I know there will be more to come but we will get through this crazy stage)
Love your new blog look!
Hang in there! It's a tricky age!
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