It is time........

I am thinking that after 13 months of living in fear of taking Thing 1 and Thing 2 out for an errand alone....just me, them and the diaper bag has got to come to an end. The only place I have gone alone with them is to Thing 2's check up visits at the doctor's office, otherwise someone always comes with me. I know....I'm a freak! So I decided last night that I would take them in the morning to Emdins USA Baby because I want a different double stroller. Surely this can't be too difficult a task to accomplish I tell myself. You can be in and outta there in no time. Let Thing 1 walk and Thing 2 will be in lock down in a single stroller. Ok.....I can do this. As I am packing the diaper bag for Things 1 & 2 that I feel is needed for this outing, I am beginning to sweat! The six or so cups of morning coffee that I sucked down while looking at all your blogs is now brewing a whole different sensation in my stomach! I pack an extra pull up and panties for Thing 1, several diapers for Thing 2, Depends for myself, juice cups, Goldfish crackers, Vanilla Waffers and Dora snacks. All to be distributed if needed. Before leaving I run upstairs to apply more deodorant for fear that it will be obvious that this is my first outing with my Things! Mind you Thing 2 has not pooped yet this morning. Any other morning by 9:30AM, I have gone upstairs to change Thing 2 at least 2-3 times. But oh no......not today! He is holding that explosion..........on purpose......I just know it. Thing 1 is her usual happy self and is chanting that we are getting a new "stow-wer" and going in the "new car"! However, I see a mischievous look in her eye and I know that Thing 1 is on a mission of some sort. My goal is to be pulling out of the driveway at 9:30 AM so I begin the loading process at 9:25. As we leave the house, Thing 1 begins to shout "Here we go, here we go, shake your booty, here we go". Note to self......NEVER, EVER let Thing 1 get near a stripper pole. Both Things are in their car seats, video going and I back out the driveway asking myself if I really need this stroller today?!?!? It will be the 6th stroller that I need to find a place to store, although I can explain the need for each one of them. Sigh......I need to show myself that yes, I can be stronger than Thing 1 and Thing 2.....they can't defeat me. Half way into Grand Rapids, I decide I need to pull through Mickey D's for a coke because my head is pounding. I keep peeking out of the corner of my eye at Thing 2. I just know any moment he is going to decide to let out his "Simba In Training" roar. But much to my surprise, he is happy with his blanket, sucking his thumb and enjoying his four favorite color shirted friends! I'm also waiting for Thing 1 to scream that she needs to go potty or that she needs "bench-bies" as she see's me pulling through the drive thru........Nada.......oh how I love those Wiggles and my huge video screen in the Mama Machine!

We have arrived at Emdins and little do they know what is about to enter through their doors! Thing 1 prances up to the door and Thing 2 is currently in lock down in his stroller. The manager of the store is there who I have known for years and she is so happy to help me when I tell her I want yet ANOTHER stroller. CHA-CHING! I decide to let Thing 2 walk around with Thing 1. I try them both out in a few strollers, tool around the store like an idiot with them both in it and make my decision. All is going fairly well with the exception that both of them are screaming in pure excitement because I have actually taken them somewhere besides our house, the dreaded church nursery or the Doctors office where they are always traumatized in some way! lol Once I get them out, they are chasing each other and giggling like two peas in a pod. Thing 1 is a speed demon and Thing 2 still looks like a Weeble Wobble.

Now it is time to check out and as I attempt to pick up Thing 2, I nearly drop him twice because he is thrashing backwards so hard in his attempt to say "Oh, you are NOT picking me up and putting me back in that stroller"! The battle and the simba roar begins. Thing 1 is looking at the sales girl and saying "Deedal's not happy"........and I'm thinking......I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED......keep your cool Mama Thing....it's gonna be ok. Thankfully my arms are in really good shape and fairly strong, otherwise I may have dropped Thing 2 causing Thing 1 to totally freak out as well! Two freaked out Things.....NOT a pretty picture! Hmmmmm....another note to self.....find some sort of carrier where you can strap Thing 1 to one side of your butt and Thing 2 to the other side........maybe by the end of the summer I could have a butt like J-Lo! ;)

We load the new stroller in the back of the Mama Machine, I strap in Thing 1 and Thing 2 in their appropriate car seats and head for the hills.......thanking my lucky stars I made it without having a nervous break down or having to call 911. The video is going............my 80's music playing in the front speakers...........and along comes a semi-truck......my left nostril flares in disgust....stay tuned......

Dont' be fooled