The ride home.......

Oh my word......you people are so impatient! lol Contrary to what you believe I do have a busy life AND it is a holiday weekend. Sheesh....... ;)

So we are cruising home, Thing 1 and Thing 2 are happy in their car seats and watching Wiggles and I am listening to my 80's music! (Love, love, love my 80's music.) As most of us Mothers do, I am multi tasking with the Things as we move along. Singing to my music and theirs.

There are several stop lights that I must hit or miss on the way home. Today I seem to be hitting every one. No big deal.....my only goal on the way home is to keep Thing 2 awake because it is not a pretty site if the nap schedule gets screwed up. I can't begin to tell you how totally anal I am about the Thing's nap schedule. I soooooo need that time so I can re group and prepare for the afternoon and evening. Anyhoo........

As I hit one of the stop lights, I can see out of the corner of my eye that this semi is creeping up on my left side. Being that I am now driving the Mama Machine, I am high up and can see into the semi pretty darn good. I glance over, look up and this guy in the semi gives me this big "trying to be sexy cheeser grin". My left nostril flares in disgust and thankfully the light turns green. Off the Mama Machine goes, but not very fast as M37 seems to be bogged down with traffic and I am in the middle lane. Only a few more lights to go before the stretch opens up and I'm free. I am at the second to the last light and sure enough.....here comes Mr. Sexy Cheeser again. I can't help myself and I look at him, only this time as he gives me the big "I'm so sexy cheeser smile", he bobbles his head and gives me the thumbs up! What the dilly, people?!?!?!? What the dilly??????? I look out my wind shield, look back and he is STILL doing it! OK big sticker.........What are you smokin' in that semi you freak-o-la! Oh....and so I don't tick anyone off here.....I have nothing against semi drivers. However, this one is a freak-o-la!

I refrain from putting down my window, because I can be a sassy sort of thing......I know it is a problem, but at least I can admit it......I'm thinking to myself.............do you not see the kind of vehicle I am driving? It is not my first choice.....it is because I have a boat load of kids in the back. Did you not just see me singing the "quack, quack quack , cock-a-doodle-doo song? I know you did! I know the windows are tinted, but it is obvious that there are toys hanging from the upper bar to entertain Thing 1 and Thing 2 as the Mama Machine rolls along. I know that I am sporting some sweet sunglasses.....(Gwen told me I had to if I was going to drive a Ghetto machine)......and my lips are plumping from my oh so awesome plumper..........but you can just take your big cheese head bobbin grin and park it buddy! Both nostrils flare at him and I take off. Then I see him pull down his CB radio.....do they even still use those? I saw the big curly cord.......and I fear the conversation that big sticker is about to have is something like this.......

Ah yeah....this is Big Sexy Sticker looking for Rosco, over...

This is Rosco...go ahead

There is a suspicious over-sized van heading south bound on M37. The woman is blonde, she has huge black glasses on, and over sized lips. There are also two unidentified objects in the back unable to sit still. There may be more. She was last seen flapping her arms like a chicken, crowing like a rooster and then singing Robert Palmer's "I Didn't Mean To Turn You On". You may need back up.

Roger that Big Sticker, will use caution when approaching the vehicle.......it sounds like she is tripping on acid.

All I wanted was a new stroller people.....just a new stroller!