There are days that I just feel so bad for Sophia. Since Daniel's arrival, things have just revolved around him. Like today for example. Sophia had preschool and she was to wear her Halloween costume. The teachers always tell me that I can stay as long as I want with Daniel. Can you hear me laughing? They just have no idea what the cute little simba roaring temper tantrum thrower can be really like. So today, I decide that would stay. Ten minutes into the class I tell the teacher that I will be back for the Halloween party time. Daniel is actually being good, but I was hoping to get him home so he could do his "morning business" and not smell up the entire preschool room. So we get home and like clock work the boy creates his masterpiece for me! At about 10:30 we head back out the door to go back to the church. Long story short...........there were so many outbursts and crying tantrums I was beside myself. I also know that my facial expression's showed stress and these young Mother's were looking at me like I was so NOT together. Now mind you Sophia is happy in her little world of preschool, but I am not hardly able to spend any time with her due to the boy. The boy that I do truly love with all my heart. But I just feel so bad for Sophia. We left 20 minutes early, which Sophia was fine with. We got home and I cried. I feel so bad sometimes. I can't even tell you the last time we went to a play group or did anything with anybody. It makes me sad for her. I'm so thankful that she is so easy going and transitions well. I also know that it won't always be like this with Daniel, but there are just days that I feel so bad for my girl. Now, that we are home, Daniel is perfect. He is back in the compound happily playing in the playroom so I can even write this post. lol Sophia just came to me and said "I so love you Mommy".............I guess the day will get better! ;)
26 comments:
So typical of boys.
I am always told of how i would fuss and cry that I wanted to go home when we went to my grandma's house.As soon as i was home I was happy and content.
Guess it just shows how us boys are always a little bit of a pain in the neck and still am at my age.
Just be happy that Sophia handles it so well. A typical gal, gives it up for the males like always.
I can understand your frustrations but hope this helps you to smile.
"Hugs"
Mr.Brian
I can totally relate to this. And I can tell you it WILL get better... With three boys in different ages I feel sometimes that I am not always there for Joey for his school sporting activities. Before it was Little Luis, I was so afraid of the temper tantrum the boy would give and then as soon as I left the function he was perfect angel. He now behaves and is real good, but then it is Mickey's turn to throw the tantrum's. I keep reminding myself that it will get better with him too.
I know what it is to feel guilty, but this too shall pass my friend, and you are not alone...
Cyber Hugs
((((((hugs)))))
It sounds so much like our house.
Jillian will have outbursts and tantrums and we will have to leave functions, truly there are times when we will just stay home and save the drama.
Jennifer is so laid back she just goes with the flow, thank goodness.
So I know how you feel, wish you lived closer so Daniel and Jillian could entertain each other with tantrums and we could sit with coffee, laugh and have some Mommy time. LOL. ;D
Doesn't it just GET you when that happens? A crappy day, your feeling blue... then out of the mouth of one of your precious kiddos. So often I think God speaks to us through other people, and most often, through children.
You are doing great - and I keep telling myself - we are all a family - we give and take. You juggle it well and this is only a stage - it will get better. Hang in there and be encouraged - you are a great Mommy!!
Hey, I can barely handle the one I have so I admire your bravery with two little ones : )
Okay, those young moms have a lot they could learn from you! You hang in there, it sounds like you are finding the balance :)!!
It WILL get better...I promise. And you are striking a wonderful balance. As moms, we have a tendency to beat ourselves up over these things..often things that many times the kids don't remember. You're doing a great job of being there for Sophia...and you'll continue to be there for her when she needs you. ((HUGS))
AWWWW! Sophia coming up to you saying she loves you is like a kiss on a boo boo. It will get better Mommy. Bless you for being the mom who sees the world from the height of her children.
It's a tough job being a mom.
Sometimes I think Thomas is handling his new sister appearing and taking a big chuck of attention and then he comes to me sad saying..please mommy somebody look after me...ughh it tears me apart.
At the beginning and just starting to bond with Zoe I had resentment feelings against her because I felt so sorry for Thomas as the attention for him was a lot less than he was use too.
I don't get that anymore- maybe because I now feel the same affection for both of them and maybe b/c I am feeling like it is getting slightly more balanced.
But there are days like you just had...these are just odd days though- you are doing great.
Stef- You are an awesome mom and I know it can't be easy! I just play mom half the time and just having the boys for one day can drive me border line INSANE! :) I hope you are well and I know Tyler is missing the compound as well. I would love to get over and see you guys over the holidays, either Thanksgiving or Christmas!
hugs-amy
Just a little inside...
BOYS are sooo different...
Believe me... they say that boys are easier then girls...
I still say the opposite...
But time will tell...
Too cute what Sophia said...she knows when MOMMY needs her loving words...
Hugs to you girly...
Love your post...
Daniel will get better...it will just take a little time...
Have a WONDERFUL Evening..
Kim
what a great feeling to be told how much your children love you!!
don't let it worry you...you are doing a great job with all your young un's...
Kids can be wise beyond there years sometimes...
I am sorry you had a rough day. I remember them with Jake. I too isolated myself lots and still do some at times because of knowing his behavior wouldn't be pleasing. The key is finding others that have little tatnrum throwers themselves to have playdates with like Kerri said, and then they aren't sitting there with that look that says their children would never act like this. I so don't like people like that... They have no clue.
Somethng about leaving the compound for some is way over stimulating. Jacob's deal was like say a chuckee cheese kind of place: he would want to do everything at once and get so frustrated and then here came the difficult behavior. Coudln't let himself have fun for worrying about all the stuff he wasn't doing all at once. Get him back home he would be fine.
Anyway I am sorry for your time at school today. It will get better... really. hugs
Satan would love more than anything for you to feel you aren't doing enough or that you aren't a good Mom. Don't believe those lies! You ARE a good Mommy and just because you have days like this, doesn't mean you are a failure. YOu and I are so much alike, it's funny. ;)
You chose to stay home and raise your kids and that is the greatest gift you could ever give them. Most of the time those "younger moms" can't even go to school functions because they are working or whatever. You hang in there girl. Thanks for sharing this post and being honest. All of us have these days and it is nice to know we are not alone.
Don't be sad. I know exactly where you are, and totally understand your frustrations. Cade was my "Daniel". There are positives and negatives to every birth order and every configuration of siblings. There are positive things about being an only child, but there are negatives also. There are negatives about Sophia having a younger brother, but there are so many postitives. Each child of mine has had a totally unique "experience" growing up. I did what I could based on the circumstances. They have no clue. Truth is, she has no clue that she is missing out on anything, and truth is, she isn't. She is completely happy in her great family right where she is. Don't beat yourself up. When mine were all at home, my motto was "survival". You do the best you can do, and that has to be good enough. And your best is more than enough. You are raising three wonderful children. It gets better-I promise. I really didn't think I would survive Cade being two, but he is the most precious thing I have. So many God given gifts and abilities that I am able to see now that the "twos" have left us.
Sophia summed it up best. She is a happy, fulfilled little girl who so loves her mommy.
Sorry you had a rough day, but I don't think it's possible to call yourself a mom and NOT feel guilty about something once in awhile. It's part of the job, right?
You know I love you and all of your kiddos - and you are doing a FABULOUS job!
You are such a good mom, you are doing such a great job at raising your BEAUTIFUL children.
I think feeling guilty is just part of being a mom. I can totally relate...I'm feeling guilty right now that I'm not with my son playing the Wii with him (he has asked me about 5 times this morning to play with him), instead I'm on the computer!
I'm sorry that you had a rough day. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mom!
I know how you feel. It's hard sometimes when you have multiple children, especially when they are close in age.
Sophia will be just fine. She is very loved and a happy child.
All you can do is the best that you can. You cannot measure yourself on a scale of perfection. You are a great mom to each of your children. This situation is just one of the downfalls to being in a larger family. There are so many more positives and happy experiences that come from being in a large family, that I'm sure overall she's really coming out on top.
I totally understand. It is hard for me to spend time with both girls together, because Tahlia's attention span is MUCH shorter than Jazzie's... OFten we have to leave because Tahlia is done playing, whereas Jazzie would love to stay longer. It's a tough balance, isn't it??
I love your blog and your honesty. We have all felt like this and have all had those days.
someone once told me if you can have "good days" 80% of the time, that's what the kids will remember, so don't sweat the 20%! Hang in there.
Poor Mommy....don't be so hard on yourself, all of your kids feel the LOVE and Sophia's words to you just goes to prove it.
Yesterday, a young mom came in to help out at our Halloween party with her 4 month old baby. Of course I had to hold the wee one who then proceeded to projectile vomit all over my Clown costume. The "young" mom was so embarrassed, and I had the lovely aroma of baby vomit for the rest of the day!
I have no concept because I only have one child, but I know Sophia is just so loved by so many around her. I'm sure she's just happy to be there, really. To see your face, hear your voice and get her little moments with you, that I know she gets. Hang in there. I have absolutely no idea what it's like having a Simba. LOL!!
Do you think maybe if you took him out more he would know get use to being around large group of people. I really am not trying to be mean about this AT ALL but once you get Olivia it will be Daniel who you not doing as much as there is a younger one at home. Maybe start him out with trips with just a few people and then work him up to more.
I have one of each and personally I think BOYS are so much easier then girls. They are not moody and do not stay mad.
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