Well, it took some courage for me to actually have a header done with the name of our next daughter in it. Ally created the header and background and Verna created the middle part. I have just been so reluctant to put it up. I nearly cried when I saw the first one Verna ever did with her name on it......it made it seem so real to me. However, I held off putting it on my blog. With the wait being so long and the uncertainty of adoption in China right now, I just don't know what to think about this journey. I do love my new blog girls....thank you! ;)
There are days when my gut tells me that my family might be complete even though my heart speaks differently to me. Two weeks ago when I saw an LID of 20 + months.....it just really hit me. I am not going to see another daughter in this home until the summer of 2009......and that is if I'm lucky. That's truly how I feel about it at this point. I don't dwell on it.....we are proceeding with the house re-model in the Fall and I have told myself that I must just live everyday being thankful for these children still left here at home with me. And if something happens and we are not meant to have an Olivia Grace......then I need to except that. But for now......I'll just hope, wait, dream and pray. 
43 comments:
We're a bit discouraged these days as well. This last batch of referrals hit me pretty hard too. We're behind the huge group who pushed to beat the requirement changes. I just have to believe that there was a reason I didn't feel compelled to move forward with the adoption until I did. For now, we are busy and thankful for the 3 we have, and building a new house. I know, though, when we move in that house and there is a pink room waiting for her, I will be getting very restless.
I see a funk coming on!! Try not to let it consume you...you will have your Olivia Grace (great name by the way) who will get along famously with Emmie, Fia, and Deedle...it's just meant to be that's all!! So let's turn that funk into fun!!
Your blog is beautiful. This is my favorite design so far. I love her name and I am still hoping things will speed up. Hold fast friend.... He is faithful.
God's Speed to your Olivia Grace
Hi Steffie,
My heart just breaks for those of you that are having to wait so long.
But I believe it will happen and it will be at just the right time. God has it all in His hands.
Your blog looks beautiful!
Blessings,
Sue
I love the new look and the name! It is beautiful. Keep the faith!
thanks for sharing your honest feeling with us!
Praying for all of us!
Hope - tend to it and it sees us through.
The header is beautiful.
I love your little girls name..
I had wondered what you were going to call her..
I know that this is going to be a long wait.. but hang in there.. I am with you.. I KNOW THAT THIS WILL SPEED UP..
I have faith.. I have said that from the beginning..
We are in this together and we will make it..
Have a GREAT DAY...
Love the new look..
Take care.
Kim
The daugher you are meant ot have will be in your arms at the perfect time. I am so sorry that the wait looks so dreary thoguh... I am glad you try not to dwell on it. Keep enjoying your little Things...Keep hoping, waiting, dreaming and praying...
Love the new blog look. I really love the little picture on the upper right side.
My husband keeps telling me that when God finds the perfect child for us, everything will get moving again.
I hope he's right. He even said the other day after Church that he was ready for our daughter to come home.
We truly thought we would travel in 2007. Now we will be lucky to travel in 2008.
Olivia Grace is a beautiful name. Olivia is my daughter's middle name.
It will happen. I'm right there with you. We will wait as long as it takes for our daughter to be ready for us. God knows exactly who she is....and if we have to wait 2 years, then so be it. I just write in my next daughter's journal that she was wanted and planned for before she was even conceived. These little girls will know one day how long we waited, prayed and dreamed of having them in our lives.
You said it well - that's how I often feel too - we felt God nudging us to do this, but then other times I think - is this REALLY the plan to wait 2-3 years??? It's a tough wait - wasn't my plan, but I'll keep moving forward until God says Stop!!
Love the new look and the name (my two favorite names right now;)....I know that it seems like forever, just praying that things will speed up for us and our precious children! Hope, wait, dream and pray....repeat:)
Oh....sorry I did not get back to you, Kyla still would love advice on hair products from Em. 3 weeks until the first day of middle school...EEEEEK!
This is my favorite design so far. Verna and friends are really good at their job. It is so discouraging about the wait. Are you still proceeding with a special needs? I wish I had a better answer. I will continue to think and pray about your family and the wait. Thanks for being so honest.
This is my favorite design so far. Verna and friends are really good at their job. It is so discouraging about the wait. Are you still proceeding with a special needs? I wish I had a better answer. I will continue to think and pray about your family and the wait. Thanks for being so honest.
the header and new blog are beautiful. I feel discouraged and we have a SN referral. I still don't feel like it's real somedays. I know that even before that.. I just wanted to give up.
Hang in there.
Love the mother/daughter devotional book. So cool that you are sharing in that together.
OLivia Grace is THE MOST beautiful name on the face of this earth!! I think that once you meet you will find it was perfect all along and fits her very well!
What a beautiful heading for you blog Stef!
I also love the name Olivia Grace! Very beautiful!!
Hi Steffie,
I have been pretty much feeling like you do about "the wait" lately. I really needed to read your post today to know I am not alone in this. It is very encouraging to read everyone's responses on this post as well. It is so easy to become discouraged and I feel exactly as you do. I am so glad we all have each other to lean on during these times.
Sending out some love to ya girl!
Adele
The header is beautiful...and so is the name. I know it's incredibly easy to get discouraged over the wait, but hang in there...it is so worth the wait! :)
Stef, Did you know that the name you've chosen was the exact name that Pete and I agreed on for Gabrielle before we traveled to China. Olivia would have been to honor a past relative of Pete's.
If it weren't for our friends in Muskegon who traveled one and a half weeks ahead of us (who named their daughter Grace), we may have stuck with that name too.
We are living in a parallel universe with more in common than we know. I'm thinking you were ment to use the name . . . not us. We also thought of "Abbey-Rose", but will not use that name with the potential for Gabrielle to be nick-named "Gabby".
We need to get together soon as I'm sure we have so much to talk about in the wait for little sister. I too have been doubting my stick-to-it-ness as the wait becomes so long it is hard to know what to hope for. We are thinking we will be lucky to have little sister home in 2008 even after being in the system since early 2006. Our fingerprints have now expired as well as our I-171-H and we are not jumping to renew based on the uncertainity of the estimated timetable. We are living one day at a time --it seems to be the only way to survive this ungodly wait. It must be in the Master's plan.
Hang in there!
Oh, you've stated it so well. I am really having a hard time believing that our 2nd adoption will happen. It's a very difficult thing to live with. I love the name you've chosen. We have really struggled with picking a name for our 2nd daughter. (Grace was my #1 choice, but Steve didn't agree, and I didn't push it because the wait is so long.) There is a part of me that wants to pick a name so that we show our commitment to the adoption--no matter how long the wait is--and the other part of me feels as though I will be even more disappointed if I have a name picked out and the adoption doesn't happen. The wait just seems unbearable right now because it continues to grow each month. Okay, I'll stop venting now ...
I sooo feel your pain. I feel like I'm living in two worlds my life now and the dream world with my daughter.
Hold on, we are all with you...
I do really, really love the new look of your blog. And it does make it really REAL with her sweet name up there. (I know where your heart is...it was nice to get a chance to talk to you a little bit about it on Saturday)
Hugs to you!!!
I love your new look! It's beautiful. Hang in there as you already know dreams do come true :)
I absolutely love that name, Olivia Grace. It is so pretty.
I hope there is a speed up for all of you waiting to bring home your daughters and sons:)
I love the name. It is beautiful just as I am sure she will be too!
Keep the faith my friend. What do you always tell me? We'll get there together. I love that you have thing 1 & 2 as your comment icon. Way cool.
I love the name. I'm praying that things speed up real soon for everyone especially after the Olympics.
Beautiful name for your daughter to be. I pray that the wait is much shorter than anticipated.
I so know how you're feeling. I had a little vent on my blog today. This wait is just crazy and puts so many doubts in our heads. I keep praying the wait will get shorter. I think it would take a miracle at this point. :) Love your new blog look and of course the name- it's just beautiful.
Honey, you know we love ya and are holding hands thru this wait to see our girls faces. We'll just cry and laugh and get mad together, knowing that God did indeed instruct us to go back. I don't know why the wait has to be so long but there is certainly a plan bigger than we can see. HUGS!
What a beautiful blog you have! I too remember the day when I first saw Hannah's name in the title and it bought goose bumps and tears.
Praying for you as you wait for Olivia Grace to join your family. This truly is a time when we lean on God for strength during the long wait.
Praying ourselves through as we seek His will for our lives.
Blessings ~ Catherine
what a heart felt post... now you listen to me ... you can wind this storm of time and you don't have to do it alone .... we are all with you ... praying for you and lifting you up to the Father especially on days you just feel like you can't ... love ya bunches and am giving you a hug tonight from TN !!!!
I love the new blog look..it's great.
I wish I had some words to make the wait less painful, it just plain sucks that it takes so long.
It's just a roller coaster of emotions....hugs my friend x
Your new site is SMOKIN'!
Love love love the colours! And her name is beautiful! I really like it.
I am Verna's nephew's wife and I link to your blog often through her blog (my work is very slow right now, so that's how I get the chance). I have no idea what people in the adoption process go through, but my eyes have been opening to it through everyone's blogs. I did not know the adoption world was so huge. I think it is fantastic to learn about all of the ways families are built. And also, when I struggle with things in life, I always think back to your (and many others') blog and try to have as much faith in God that you do. If you like, you can see my son's web page by going to duaned99.com and clicking on Nicholas's web page link.
I know how you feel. When we started the adoption journey I promised myself that if we didn't get twins that we would repeat the process and do it all over again. I swore to myself that my daughter would not grow up lonely without a sister (like I did) and here we are almost a year later and she still doesn't have a sister and we haven't figured out what to do about that. I don't think I could survive the emotional roller coaster of another China adoption. I think it is a great country to adopt from and I would do it again in a heartbeat but the wait time is tremendous and just knowing that there are children out there that need a home makes me want to bring one home like yesterday. We are considering adopting older siblings. Please join us and pray that doors will start opening soon. Right now I'm not so sure what to do. But it just seems like somethings missing.
your new look ROCKS! I am discouraged too and I'm not even to the wait yet. I think today has just been a suckie day and has contributed to my negativity. I'm starting to lose hope.
Hang in there Stef!
Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie I simply love the name! I am here if you need me. Knowing all too well what and how you are feeling. Time my friend. Try (I know this will be hard) to be patient. All good things come in time. Now tell me to shut the eff up... I love you..
What a beautiful name. I love the new look.
Love the new look and the name. I am soo happy to finally be back online LOL..bloggy withdrawl. I hope the wait shortens and your beautiful daughter is home sooner than you think : )
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