OH.MY.WORD!!!!

Hello my friends.....why don't you go and get yourself and drink, pop some popcorn and let me tell you about my day. I don't know what planet I was on this morning when I decided to take the Things to the Mall. Perhaps I was still in my happy state of mind from drinking my Sleepy Time Tea the night before. I envisioned play time at the Tree House, followed by some window shopping and then dinner by the carousel! Bahahahaha! Like that happened! Let's just say that the Things will NOT be going to the Mall again any time soon...especially together! First off....just packing the diaper bag along was enough! Thing 1 is totally easy......Thing 2 eats about 6 table foods at this point and that is it! Picky little Thing! So I've got the cold pack going on for the yogurt, fish crackers, drinks........... Anyhoo......I put them both down for early naps and that goes quite well actually. I'm getting braver as the day goes on thinking that I can conquer the Mall with my 3 Things......I get the Things in the Mama Machine, Thing Teen starts the movie for them and off we go. First issue....construction........Thing 2 has about had his fill in the car seat at this point.......a big whoppin' 30 minutes. Oh lucky me.....now you are beginning to understand why the boy does not get to leave the compound! lol We finally get to the mall and I have Thing 2 in his stroller and Thing Teen knows that she has the job of buckling up Thing 1 and making her happy in her stroller. First stop......the Coach store. Most items are out of reach for Thing 2 so I felt it was safe to bring my tribe into the spotless store......where every accessory is neatly in it's place waiting for purchase. I double check to make sure both Things are on lock down in their strollers before entry. As on cue and what I suspected would happen, Thing 2 immediately starts complaining as soon as his stroller comes to a halt. Out come the pretzel fish crackers in the neat, spotless store! Oops....one fell and Mama rolled the stroller over on it. I quickly do the brush stroke with my flip flop to avoid a big pile of crumbs being located in the center of the store. Thing Teen informs me that she and Thing 1 are heading for Build A Bear. Ok I say......I'll be there in a minute. I chit chat with the sales girls, make my purchase, drop a few more fish pretzels, do the flip flop swoop and we are outta there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I head down to Build A Bear and I do not, I repeat, I do NOT see my girl Things. I try not to panic as I know that Thing Teen is quite responsible and probably did a drive thru with Thing 2 at Victoria Secrets. I go next door to the Disney Store to get a few things for the Things. EVERYTHING is at grabbing level for Thing 2! It didn't matter where I put the stroller, he could reach whatever those little paws wanted. ~SIGH~ I grab my stash of PJ's and dress up clothes, looking like a crazy woman shopping at a close out sale, whipping things over my shoulder, probably wild eyed and freaky. I get to the cash register as fast as I can. What???? Do I want to sign up to be notified for special promotions?????? Yeah....do you see my thrashing Thing? Like I have time to fill in those little boxes! Later Gator! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I enter Build A Bear and I see my girl Things.........a sister moment, my eyes tear, I whip out my camera, snap some shots, Thing 1 is VERY serious, no smiles, stays close to Thing Sissy and is so happy with her new Hello Kitty. AND........ this is where I find my adorable Thing 1 and Thing 2 creatures for purchase. I must buy three sets, because I know I'll put them all over the place. I know.....I'm weird. But until the next baby comes, I am enjoying my whole "Thing" scenario. So there!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I now tell the Tribe that we are going to the Tree House to play. Thing 1 squeals with delight. As we approach the Tree House, it was like Thing 2 went into a "boy world" orbit. I could not get him out of the stroller fast enough and he went running down the ramp to enter the area of beastly children......running around like they were on a Mountain Dew sugar high. Thing 1 nicely goes up the stairs and finds the telescope that she people watches with. I can see her as long as Thing 2 stays in that area. Thing Teen has now informed me that she needs to go run to one store....I'll be back in 10 minutes she says..........and I know EXACTLY where she is going. She just HAD to go to Victoria Secret because the FREE PANTY coupon came in the mail and HEAVEN FORBID if she can't get her FREE PANTY! Oh the joys of having them at all different ages! ~SIGH~ I look up at Thing 1 only to see a little freak of a beast hit her and take the telescope away. HEY......I yell up there and point at her and say Uh-Uh! (Sarabi's fur is beginning to fluff out and 10 inch nails begin to extend.) I call Thing 1 down and she asks for a kiss on her head....precious Asian princess.......DON'T touch her again I say to myself, or I will hunt you down! NOW.......what made me come unglued and decide that I would NOT be returning with my Things was the lack a parental concern from these people. Kids were in the play area that were way too old, and parents just went on chatting in their own little delusional world, totally ignoring what their beasts were doing.~~~~~~~~~~~ I also knew that until Thing Teen returned I was stuck there because even though it was crazy, both of my Things were having a ball. ESPECIALLY Thing 2.........he was experiencing life outside the compound. He clearly knew when he needed to get out of the way from these hyper kids, but he is only 15 months old.......Mama needs to protect him. When Thing Teen finally got back.......much longer than 10 minutes.......we were outta there. No dinner, no window shopping, NADA! But not without a fight from Thing 2. I pick him up and the thrashing begins. Not just verbal complaints.......legs kicking, arms flailing, head throwing and whole body thrashing. I can hardly buckle the boy into the stroller he is so mad we are leaving. All the while I am saying "Thank you Lord for this precious boy that I have no idea what to do with!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~We get home and I feed the Tribe. Everyone is happy to be back home. Thing Teen is going to youth group with her friends, so after all my Things had full bellies, we headed out again to drop sissy off at church. We pull out of the church driveway and Thing 1 pipes up and says "Deedal's stinky". And she no sooner said it when the stench was making it's way up to the front of the Mama Machine. LOVELY! Only about 15 minutes to get home. Grrrrreat! Thing 2 has no complaints as he is sitting in his Mother Load of crapola....baffles me. About half way home Thing 1 is now plugging her nose and saying "Mom...it's really getting stinky back here"! I nearly pee my pants at her drama over it all. Now that's all we need......pee and crap in the Mama Machine. We get home, and I get Thing 2 upstairs to indeed find a blow out...... a major red zepher window....nothing a little Magic Butt Creme can't cure.........and that my friends......is how I spent my Wednesday afternoon. How was your day??????? Cocktails anyone?????

So what do you get when you put Thing Teen and Thing 1 together? Total and complete sisterly love! ;)

Thing Teen talked me into letting her and Thing 1 go to Build A Bear. There was NO talking Thing 1 out of stuffing Hello Kitty! Mama Thing was quite excited to see that they have two little Things in a box. I bought three sets. One for the Things bedroom door knobs, another set to hang in the Mama Machine on each of the Things appropriate sides of the vehicle and the last set to go on each side of the double stroller. I know.....I have mental problems!

Thing 2 loved the play area. He worked on his stepping up and down. Thing 1 was quite the adventurous one. She loved the tree house and looking out of the telescope.

I was so excited about the PJ's for Thing 2 and the dress up dresses I found for Thing 1 at the Disney Store.